Please help with divorce question?

My hippo of a wife is determined to have a babby and says she is oliveating and today is the best day to git pregnate. She is very very fat and ugly and we hate each other so i don't want no babby with her. I had a really good day today -- I ran to the bank at my lunch time today and low and behold my wife hadn't taken out my whole paycheck yet so i got me out $40 and went and ate six chili dogs. I don't git to eat that good cause she won't give me lunch money, so anyway when i git home and open the door she's standing there in the kitchen with this tiny little thong and little pasties on her enormus, saggy and she was saying "let's pound the fruit, big boy! it's time for making babbys". I couldn't help it -- I vomited all over the floor. She is the most repulsive thing i ever saw and of course that caused another huge fight and when the sherrif arrived i told him that she hit me in the face when i came home and i was crying and snotting so they arrested her and she put up an awful fight with them and they had to taze her. i was laughing and laughing! Her daddy is a lawyer and i rekon she'll be back her before long but i've decided to leaver her. What do i do first? Do i live in my truck? Can I burn down the house? it's MINE -- should i git a girfriend first? Please, for the love of God, help me!